Per aspera ad astra or Ad astra per aspera is a Latin phrase which means any of the following: “Through hardships to the stars”, “A rough road leads to the stars” or “To the stars through difficulties”.
— Wikipedia
The other night, I was out in the high desert area where my dad lives, dropping him off after a father-daughter lunch and movie date. We stared up into the night sky — velvet black, extraordinary “seeing” for California — remarking on how fortunate we felt to have such a view. These are the starry skies of my childhood. It’s no wonder I grew up obsessed with space. My heart, my mind, is drenched with stars.
I fell away from that love, for a time. Blame the death of the Space Shuttle Program. Blame depression, blame stress, blame conflict and tension in my life. Blame long-echoing repercussions of having given up on Career Plan A(stronaut). I still went out and looked up at the stars, but they were dim, blurred by weariness, fears, sometimes tears. At times I saw nothing at all.
With conflicting feelings of past love, loss and detachment, I shuttered my space blog in 2013. I couldn’t dredge up the enthusiasm to post anymore. It meant so much to me, yet I felt nothing.
In hindsight, I see that I was drifting away from all the things that made me “me” — drifting away from myself. Slowly, over the past several months, I’ve been rediscovering interests and passions, capturing them, putting them back into stable orbits. I feel more “me” now than I have in a while. And it will keep getting better, I think, as time goes on. The night sky is my anchor.
And so I return to a phrase I’ve heard many times, usually in connection with the space program (and loss of life), ad astra per aspera. “Through hardships, to the stars.” It’s been a rough road, but I’m coming back.
Keep looking up my friend. The one who put those stars there, put the awe and wonder of them in your heart.
There are certain people who are not satisfied with just knowing that safe and confined little space they call their world. They quest(ion) for what is beyond, what is hidden, why something is. They marvel at the intricacies of the world, of the universe, of life itself. Whether it’s the beauty hidden inside a rock, the stunning panorama of the stars or the immensity of time itself. Seekers we are called. Explorers, always looking to see what is around the next bend, or over the next mountain. Having once tasted the fruit of discovery, our curiosity will never be quenched.